Clemency

September 6, 2009

Clemency by Melody Pabz

      I started to cry but it made me feel worse. I felt that my heart was broken. I was in intense pain. It was an affliction…

     I closed my eyes. I pointed my finger at the Today’s advice’s poster. My finger landed on “Let go & let God.” My anger and desire for revenge poisoned my entire being. I had entered the dark psychology of revenge. It was not easy to forgive. My sense of fairness told me that people should pay for the wrong they did.

     How can I forgive? It is not like the way how a child open his hand and frees a trapped butterfly. How can I let go of the past? How can I heal the hurt? How can I create a new beginning out of past pain? How can I let go of my desire for vengeance? And I felt myself stuck up in the “how can I?”

   I opened the Bible and searched for the verses that will answer my questions. I read Mark 11:25-26 and Eph. 4:31-32.

Mark 11

25 ” And wherever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.

26 But if you do not forgive, neither your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

Eph. 4

31 ” Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Incognito

Incognito by Melody Pabz

     Long since, I felt only a sense of my own uselessness but everything had changed when he had come into my life. He read the sadness in my eyes. I learned from him that our life is meaningful but we take care the meaningless and take away the meaningful things on it. We care for those things that make us lonely.

     For many years, I was a sensitive girl, filled with sadness and a little frightened by life. I wore a mask of confidence but behind this lies a fragile self-esteem. I was vulnerable to the slightest criticism. I created a world of my own. I loved my own silence. I desired to die. I desired not to go on livling…

     There was something hopeless about me, a naked vulnerability that touched him. He did not let my heart continue imprisoned in sadness.

     “Life is full of gracious things and those things are those we should ponder on.”

     Being a friend to him was a gracious thing. He brought beauty into my life by giving advices. He was an unselfish friend that I can have in this cruel world.

     To trust Jesus Christ and to accept Him to enter to your life was the greatest lesson I had learned from him. God used him as an instrument to change me…

Enigma

September 1, 2009

            Sometimes, the colors of reality are too difficult to accept. I need time to find myself. Sometimes, I don’t know where I am. But, wherever I am, that’s the world. I fall into an unknown depth. My life is a chain that had come unlinked. The connections are left broken and scattered. I want to fix whatever is wrong with me. I am not convinced that my life had taken a different path. Is there a brilliant future awaited me in this immense world? Will I become the image I had envisioned?

       Life is a puzzle that needs decoding… 

 

Enigma by Melody Pabz